I’m Sorry… You Jerk

There are various ways we undo ourselves with our words. Said more accurately, there are ways that we reveal emotions within ourselves that we may not be fully aware of.

One instance of this is the non-apology. It is an apology that is immediately (though covertly) retracted. The syntax of the non-apology goes like this: Continue reading

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Programming Your Dreams, Some Specifics

I’ve mentioned on this site that I experiment with programming dreams to answer questions; I’ve created my own methods, based on my understanding of Remote Viewing theory. I’ve had some success, so a friend of mine asked me to advise on good questions to pose to dreams when looking for career guidance, something along the lines of “what job am I going to have next?” Continue reading

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I’ll Support Your Illusions If You’ll Support Mine

I recently happened upon an interesting piece by Dr. Charles T. Tart over at the University of California.  The article discusses the fear of ESP, but— ESP aside— contains remarkable insight into human nature.

In it, he discusses an interesting psychological theory called “social masking”. He explains it like this:

Briefly, the social masking theory recognizes the fact that our implicit social contract often calls for not really understanding other people.

It is as if we had contracted,

“I’ll support your illusions if you’ll support mine.”

By “illusions” I mean the incorrect perception of our true motivations and feelings because we attend to a more acceptable fantasy in order to avoid seeing unacceptable aspects of our true self.

Persons might consciously believe, for example, that they are sympathetic listeners, when they are actually driven by an unconscious, unacceptable fear of feeling inferior and being rejected: Thus identifying with the myth or illusion of being a sympathetic listener simultaneously avoids the unpleasant feelings of fear of rejection and subtly obligates others to accept the person because he or she acts like a sympathetic listener.

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Victim Posturing Begets Victimhood

I stumbled upon a couple of comments in a recent article at the Washington Times that brilliantly illustrates a vital concept:

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The Culpability of the No-Confidence Vote

Righteous smugness is such a nice feeling. No seriously. Who hasn’t enjoyed that feeling when witnessing someone else’s seeming incompetence? When your order gets botched, how eager are you to disparage the first customer service rep. who gets to handle your issue?

But those feelings end up biting us back.

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Resistance to New Ideas

“The resistance to any new idea is proportional to the square of its importance.” —Bertrand Russell

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Reject Versus Discard

How do you feel about your trash when you remove it from your house? Would you say you discard it, or reject it? Clearly you discard it. Rejecting your trash sounds a little too emphatic!

What about beliefs/values/attitudes/sensibilities/mindsets? For the ones that don’t line up with your values, do you discard them? Or reject them? Continue reading

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Absolutes vs. Tendencies

Take ‘your thoughts create your reality’ for example. For the Absolutist in me, one counterexample will nullify that claim. It’s easy, we’ve all got plenty of examples in our lives. This morning I was certain there’d be no clean plastic cups… lo and behold, there were. And how come Mick Jagger didn’t die before he got old? Continue reading

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Are You Starting to See a Pattern?

Mirror neurons in the brain fire both when taking a specified action and perceiving the action.

Repeatedly watching distressing images can cause acute stress symptoms. Continue reading

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Negative Thinkers Have It Right

I’ll cop to the link-bait headline, but it is not without merit.

The simplicity of the term positive thinking belies the depth and complexity of the topic. It causes misunderstandings from people on both sides of the matter, and the misunderstanding can be summed up as: don’t be negative. I suspect this misunderstanding is at least in part the result of people who are afraid of negative emotions co-opting ‘positive thinking’ in order to shame others for any negativity. Continue reading

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